Emotional Body · Relating

Finding Harmony: Emotional and Non-Emotional Couple

“How does the emotional and non-emotional work together in harmony as a couple?”

It makes me chuckle to hear this question because it is a conundrum for many. Most couples are a composite of these two as it becomes the main attracting factor that has brought the two together. The non-emotional loves the juicy sensation of the emotional and the one who is emotionally defined, loves the cool, non-reactive, non-emotional type. The two different types of definition, in contrast, feel as though they are from two different planets.  

Probably, the best tool for any couple with this composite is the understanding that Human Design provides in its identification of those two vastly different types of definition.

For instance, the non-emotional being is naturally cool, detached and self-absorbed, for the most part. The emotionally defined being is warm, juicy, sensitive, reactive and dramatic. The two types of definition are comparably, drastically different in their realities and experience of life.

The non-emotional usually, has instant awareness of what it wants to do or thinks is correct for itself. The emotional defined has an immediate reaction of “what?” Suddenly, it can’t think, has no clarity or is somewhat confused. There is a cloud that covers the ability for the emotionally defined to see, to know or to grasp in the immediate now, it seems.

When you put the two types together as a couple, things change dramatically. The non-emotional, cool, calm guy that you thought you met and fell in love with has suddenly become a soft, sensitive, sappy, doting kind of guy. It can be slightly shocking for the one who has been holding a delusional perspective, thinking she had hooked up with “Hercules”.

The emotionally defined being jumps on things as they are moving in a state of confusion or fantasy, with a lack of patience planted into the system. Great opportunities are missed because of hasty action that becomes the main operating system or more mayhem is created, providing fertile ground for drama and misunderstandings. 

Gradually, over time, the two lovers change drastically from when they first met and take on the others characteristics, with a slightly distorted twist.

But the two can live together and be in love if they allow each other to move in their own unique way.

I usually say, “go ahead of me, I’ll catch up later, maybe”.      Often, I say, “I dont know” as I wave the fast, non-emotional on and stay deeply engrossed in what I am currently working on. We are not in the same flow, at all, not even for dinner. 

We must allow each to be who they are meant to be. 

~ Kashi